When I was in college in Pittsburgh that time, I made this pact with myself that I was not going sit around waiting by the phone for people to call me and invite me along in their shenanigans. It always just turned out to be a major disappointment. Instead, for the last four years or so, I have always (or mostly) made the phone calls and organized my own social life instead of relying on other people. As a rule, I never rely on other people because they always always always let you down. There are zero exceptions. Or at least, I don't know anyone on a personal level who has not let me down before. I am not mad about these things, this is just life. I am a huge let-down myself, after all.
But after having a mostly disappointing winter season so far, I think I am going to stop making these phone calls. I started doing this in order not to be let down by the sting of exclusion from other people, but now, when I compare the volume of outgoing calls on my cellular device to the volume of incoming calls that are not my mother, it is even more sad than not being included four years ago. So I think I'm going to try a different tactic. You, yes all of you who I call every week to see if you want to get together and I don't think I've had the pleasure of seeing your names light up on my phone as an incoming call in maybe two months, I have gotten the message loud and clear. I will not bother you with my outgoing friendship anymore. I do apologize for the extreme annoyance I have clearly added to your lives. I know, you've been busy. I know, you are tired. Work out all these huge obstacles, and then, if you want to hang out, tag you're it. Your turn. Call me.
God, sometimes I hate people. I'm getting excited for when I enter my hermitage.
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